Wizards Matchdotcom
by Mr Ralph Lauren
Summary: the wizarding world of HP joins Match dot com where anything can happen. Through the internet will Harry meet Hermione like they were always meant to be. Match dot com in all its glory ! Rated T for language. Character OOC and AU
1. Chapter 1

_Wizards Match(dot)com  
><em>_Chapter 1  
><em>_Setting up Profiles_

Harry Potter Hits Wizards match(dot)com!

Well I've intended this to be a humour kind of fic, so lets hope it turns out this way! :D

This little plot bunny has been bugging away at me for ages now so I'd thought I'd have my chance with and write this down and see how it goes.

A/N: Harry and Hermione don't know each other, and there never was a "boy-who-lived". Basically is AU.

Disclaimer: Don't own HP wish i did, would be rich and wouldnt have to work!

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><p><em>Click To Create a Wizards Match(dot)com Profile [Find Me Somebody To Love]<em>

"Do I really have too?"

Hermione still couldn't believe Luna and Ginny had actually talked her into this 'Wizard ' bullocks. She didn't need bloody 'Somebody to love' anyway, not to mention the song was totally cheesy and added to the full embarrassment factor of the full thing!

"Yes Hermione you do. The faster you find some guy, the faster I get ride of you sitting in every Friday and Saturday reading books and watching old people tv. You really need to get laid."

"Ginny! I'm 22 and just because I haven't 'did it' doesn't make me different from anyone else, well other than you who's been around more times than anyone can count. I certainly do not need to 'get laid' thank you."

To an outsider, anyone would think Ginny and Hermione hated each other, it was the opposite really. They were best friends, this was just how they talked to each other usually. As Ronald said, it was "pure banter", he really was a born want-a-be wizard gangster. It was never going to happen.

"Just weesht and get on with creating that profile. There are some hunks on that If I do say so. I found Mr. Number 17 on there. Now he was lovely. Pity he wasn't great where it counted. Oh well. I'll be back at 7 tonight and I'll want to see that profile."

With that Ginny left, leaving Hermione in front of her laptop about to hit "create". As Ron said "at times when your life has hit a rock bottom it calls for a FML moment." Yes Hermione was definitely in a FML moment. A huge one.

* * *

><p><em>Click To Create a Wizards Match(dot)com Profile [Find Me Somebody To Love]<em>

"Mate I LOVE that song!"

Harry leaned closer to the screen to understand what his best mate was talking about when he noticed the 'Somebody to love' cheesiness.

"How anyone thought you were 'Hardcore' as I so correctly remember, astonishes me."

"Its Queen! How can you not like a Queen song!"

"I like Queen just not that song. Trust me, in like a few years time, you'll get some teen kid that's a want-to-be singer that sings that song and you wont like it then. When that day comes you can join me in the land of hatred for that song."

"What like another episode of 'Bustin Jibers'?"

"Yes, only worse."

"God help us all!"

"Definitely. Right anyway, explain to me why am actually doing what you and Nev suggested I do, in joining this awful site. As I really don't see why I need to."

Harry really couldn't understand why he needed some site to help him find love. It wasn't like he wasn't nice looking or anything, if he did say so himself he definitely had the looks and the personality, he was just a tad on the shyness side. So what.

"Because mate, your 21 and you've only had one girlfriend and that was 5 years ago. You really do need a shag."

"Draco why I'm even friends with you bewilders me, but I suppose you have a point. Let the finding begin."

"That's the spirit! Though just don't bring back a girl like Chang again. Now she was awful."

* * *

><p><em>Name: <em>Hermione Jane Granger

_Age: _22

_Birthday: _September 19, 1979

_Race: _Witch

_Short description about the way you look: _Brown eyes, light brown/blonde, curly, medium length hair, average height, average weight.

_Occupation:_ King Andersons University year 4 studying muggle literature and the care of magical creatures. Working part time at 'Pickson's Bookstore'

_Location: _England, London

_Favourite Quote:_ 'Believe none of what you see and half of what you hear'

_Short Description about yourself: _My main goal in life is to make a difference in the law of magical beings, while keeping in touch with my muggle upbringing. I believe in hard work and in education and believe that everyone should be treated as equals. I like a good book and spending time with family. I like cats and in my spare time I like painting too.

_What you look for in the opposite sex: _I look for a strong character with a great personality. They have to have a good background in education and want to succeed in life. I like them to have a sweet, romantic side and works hard when it comes to a relationship. Looks are not important.

_Post a Profile picture of yourself -_http:/emmawatsonupdates(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2010/08/26/harry-potter-and-the-deathly-hollows-photo-book/actress-emma-watson-hermione-granger/

_There that should do it now just to hit…_

"Forgot my purse, again. Oh is that you writing your profile. Let me see!"

* * *

><p><em>Name: <em>Harry James Potter

_Age:_ 21

_Birthday: _July 31st, 1980.

_Race: _Wizard

_Short description about the way you look: _Black hair, glasses, green eyes, average height and weight

_Occupation: _Aura at Ministry of Magic

_Location: _Scotland

_Favourite Quote:_ 'You're a wizard Harry'

_Short description about yourself: _I like to look presentable and enjoy reading the Qwibler. Can be shy and likes owls.

_What you look for in the opposite sex:_ I like a woman who's smart and fun….

"Right I'm going to stop you there. Your writing a whole load of crap. Your acting like some sad guy that's lonely, which is true but wont get you scoring. Seriously "likes owls?"

If the eyebrow raise was any indication from Draco, that wasn't something you put on a dating site.

"Now lets spice this up a bit!"

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><p>"Hermione your acting like some old woman on this! 'Looks aren't important', are you mad? You say that and you'll land yourself with some fat guy with spots and a beard. Been there, done that and wore the t-shirt and let me just say worst experience ever! Not to mention the t-shirt was ten times too big. And what's with the horid profile picture! you look ill! Sweetly let Ginny do this and you'll land yourself a keeper or just a one night stand whatever, in no time."<p>

"Don't you dare lie."

"Babe, a little white lie never hurt anyone."

_Yeah but your use of 'little' isn't bloody little! Yip defos FML._

* * *

><p>"Likes bloody owls. Aye that will be right. Now let me see."<p>

Harry just sat idly by while Draco type furiously on the keyboard, silently thinking that he's going to land himself with some slut with three kids and a STD.

_God help me._

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><p>"A hour later and finesh! I really should start my own business of doing up people profiles.. Oh my god! We should totally do that 'moine! You could run the finance…"<p>

"And I'll stop you there Gin. Now please go to work while I'll look over what you've actually written, and no I wont erase it, I've learned from the last time I went against you and my eyebrow is only just recovering I'll let you know!"

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. C'ya biatch."

"What an absolute cow."

_Now lets see the mess she's left._

_Name: _Hermione Jane Granger

_Age: _22

_Birthday: _September 19, 1979

_Race: _Hot Witch

"Eh no I think Witch will do."

_Short description about the way you look: _Chocolaty brown eyes, light brown/blonde, curly, medium length hair that I die occasionally, slightly above height, model material perfect weight, with the right amount of curves in all the right places, if you get what I mean (;

"Absolutely not 1)can't even spell and form proper sentences 2) hinting at slutery. Erase!"

_Occupation:_ King Andersons University year 4 studying muggle literature and the care of magical creatures. Working part time at 'Pickson's Bookstore'. I have my own office (;

"ERASE!"

_Location: _England, London

_Favourite Quote:_ 'Girls want sex just as much as guys do' (;

"Em I can assure you we do not. ERASE! What the hell is with her and winky faces!"

_Short Description about yourself: _I'm a muggle born we like it hard…

"And that's my cue to delete."

_What you look for in the opposite sex: _Looks are defos important! Like muscle and a great package (;

"Have no bloody idea what she means but if the winky face is any indication ERASE!"

_Post a Profile picture of yourself - _____http:/www(dot)comicbookmovie(dot)com/fansites/48and2/news/?a=25567 ____

"I guess we'll keep the profile picture, that's it."

_FML_

* * *

><p>"Wayhey finished! Now for me to read out my work of art…"<p>

"I'll read it to myself thank you. Now if you please goodbye."

"Ars hole."

"Man slut."

If looks could kill. Harry would definitely be dead.

_Now let me see the works of a sex shark. _

_Name: _Harry James Potter

_Age:_ 21

_Birthday: _July 31st, 1980.

_Race: _Wizard

"He actually spelt Wizard correctly. Coodos."

_Short description about the way you look: _Jet black sexy messy hair, emerald green eyes, glasses though they look hot I assure you, have a great package, you need to see the size of my trouser tent (;

"What the hell does trouser tent mean? Google!"

Harry called up Google and typed 'trouser tent' in the search bar, where it loaded search results and also displayed how many times that one thing had been searched: 2 billion times.

"Hmm must be a popular saying. Now let me see."

Urban Dictionary: Trouser tent - _When you have major wood in the crotchal area but you are wearing some sort of loose garment around there so your purple headed yogurt slinger is clearly visible- thus like a tent _

_'Dude, How many does your Trouser Tent accomodate!' _

"Emmm. What? Purple headed what?"

3) - _a tent made in the trouser department being held up by ones pork sword aka cock _

"ERASE TROUSER TENT!"

_Occupation: _Aura at Ministry of Magic

_Location: _Scotland

_Favourite Quote:_ 'I'm like a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die'

"I really am not. I've been dormant for a long time and I've not died yet. Lies lies lies. ERASE!"

_Short description about yourself: _Dresses incredibly, have a hot sense of fashion, can divide two (; I also know how too subtract (;

"Winky faces posted by Draco, equal dirtiness so yes I'll give you one guess what am about to do Hedwig."

All that was heard was a hoot, before the delete button was permanently damaged, again.

_What you look for in the opposite sex:_ I like a woman who have a heavy upper section…

"ERASE ERASE ERASE!. Hedwig you know what am going to say don't you?"

Harry looked towards his owl that was currently perched on the wooden stand near the window, while his white beady eyed owl stared back, holding a silent understanding. Both currently thinking _Man slut._

_Post a Profile picture of yourself - _____http:/www(dot)ew(dot)com/ew/allabout/0(comma)(comma)20000246(comma)00(dot)html____

"Picture ain't bad, everything else Hedwig, goes."

Hedwig didn't really understand why she was still getting talked too. Her master knew she got all bitty when she didn't sleep. He would definitely receive a biting during feeding.

A small hoot was herd that Harry registered as a acknowledgment to his sentence. How he was wrong.

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><p>That's me finished chapter 1. I think I will be continuing as I think I could take this many places as the plot is fairly wide ranged. Oh and just to be clear I have not joined a Match(dot)com website as you might get that idea from this fic but I don't. don't have anything against them just not for me but good luck to you if your on one, hope you find someone real swell!<p>

Hopefully it was slightly humours as that's what I was aiming for, never the less I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

I just want to say I might have mucked up my usage of 'to' and 'too' I have never ever been able to identify when to use each one so hopefully I haven't messed that up too much.

Thanks for reading :D


	2. A Granger's Life

_Wizards Match(dot)com  
><em>_Chapter 2  
><em>_The day in the life of a Granger_

**Huge thanks to everyone that reviewed and Alerted and Fav'd! Made my day**

**My muse is wild right now so I thought I'd write down the next chapter fairly soon before I lost my ideas. Hope you enjoy the chappy!**

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><p><em>Mondays. Worst day ever. <em>

As anyone knows, Mondays were definitely the most, well shittest day ever. Hermione absolutely thought so anyway, especially this one.

She was currently running late for work, something she never did and had just missed her train by about 3 seconds. If Hermione's mother, Elise Granger, was in her daughters head when the doors to the train shut, she would be appalled. Hermione was never brought up to swear. If you asked her to blame someone, it would be Ginevra Weasley that would be on the receiving end of a pointed finger.

If Ron was there at that precise moment he would have clearly stated 'why use a train when you have magic!' and would have earned himself a book over the head wallop.

'Ronald are you really that thick and suffer from amnesia? I've told you many times you can't go Apparating in the muggle world! Seriously read a book. Oh wait you can't read.' Yeah Hermione would admit that her déjà vu response was always harsh, but when you've said it 57 times - not that she'd counted, that's just sad - it does ruffle your feathers a bit - bit being the understatement of the century.

He would always sulk after that and run to Luna. Not that she cared - too confused. Well that's what Mrs. Weasley said. Hermione did find that harsh as she never did like anyone snidely commenting on her best friends.

Just as Hermione thought her day couldn't get any worse, her boss phoned - Mr I have a lisp and spit my words or as Ginny called him, 'Finger dude.'

Hermione didn't know if anyone else noticed this but she and Ginny did. He had this white beard that was long and pointed forward and out. It only started from the middle of his chin as well too and reached nowhere else except from the way it poked forward. Every time he talked it would move and Ginny came up with this impersonation where she stuck her hand on her chin and throw out one finger that she would move while talking. Yes, she was immature like that but it was bloody hilarious never the less.

"Hermione! Where in Gods name are you!"

How she felt sorry for that phone.

"Mr. Renolds I'm incredibly sorry! I missed my train -"

"Don't give me excuses young lady. I pay you -"

She wasn't practically listening, as she was to deep in thought of how rude it was to interrupt someone.

_Pompus son of - _"Uh ok?"

And that was why you listen to a conversation. The voice of her father rang through her head at that. Hermione silently hoped she hadn't agreed to her boss's sexual fantasy. She disturbingly came across his diary while clearing up - _Nightmare material. _

"Great! You truly are a great employee Ms Granger."

The ending call tone was like a siren of dread. _What the hell have you just agreed to Granger._

* * *

><p>"Thank you for shopping at Pickson's book store. Have a nice day." Oh how that got old.<p>

It wasn't that Hermione was a hide-away-in-a-corner-and-don't-you-dare-come-talk-to-me-I-like-my-privacy-now-get-before-I-poke-you-with-a-stick kind of person, she was, well she was a bookworm and book worms like to be left alone, especially while in book stores, even if oneself did work there. Pleasant "have a nice day chit chat" never was Hermione's forty. Like right now when the customer actually replied and ask her a question. The hint on her face didn't seem to work. It clearly stated "stop talking and leave."

"Oh I will. So whats a pretty young thing like you working in a drag of a book store?"

_Strike one_.

"Some people do like books you know." Unsubtle dryness was definitely the tone used that came with the words pronounced.

"Yes I know, quite a fan myself. So I was wondering, want to catch a bite to eat as its already 6pm?"

_Strike two as the clock clearly states 5:57, not 6pm_

"Sorry no. I have a boyfriend." Little white lies never hurt anyone.

"Oh you don't have to tell him." The comment was followed by a so called 'cheeky wink' that just made Hermione cringe even more. Seriously, she didn't understand how people dressed in baggy joggies and a white vest top and grey cardigan, thought themselves as, quote-unquote, 'babe material.'

"And that is strike three. Good day."

As the guy left, Hermione registered his confusion. He probably was bewildered that someone actually turned him down as he looked like the type that though of himself as a high horse kinda guy and had ladies swooning at his feet, not her. And also his confusion with what the heck she was saying about strikes. She also guessed he wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

After her encounter with "I have a six pack ain't I great", the rest of the day was fairly quiet and solitary, that was until Hermione's cousins - Elise's best friends children who Hermione called their mother by the name aunt - came screaming in seemingly after a party if the party hats were any indication.

"Mioneeeeee!" Gwynn ,Hermione's older cousin of the two practically screamed at her, before wrapping sticky hands and arms around her. She did love children, so she let the grimness that now covered her slide.

"Its great to see you too Gwynn! Where's Robbie?"

She actually wished she hadn't asked as she got her answer by receiving extra weight on her back, obviously where Robbie was now currently at.

"BOOO! Did I scare ya!"

How she loved little six year olds.

"Oh Hermione why do you lower yourself to working in a bookstore, you have so much more potential!"

Aunt Linda. If you had to describe the woman in question in anyway, they would all resemble a striking image of a poodle on legs to be perfectly honest. She definitely was a snob so the poodle image fitted wonderfully.

"Aunt Linda I like books they give you a sense of escape to t-"

"Nonsense! How are you meant to find a future husband in this place! Its so drag!"

Hermione really didn't understand why everyone wanted her to find a husband. It wasn't that big a deal for crying out loud. She would find someone sooner or later. Rather than later hopefully Hermione silently thought. As anyone would say, "Every Jill had a Jack." She just had to find 'Jack' first.

* * *

><p>"-and that is way Oliver Wood is such a great captain of the Ballycastle Bats. He's just so dreamy."<p>

The trio were currently in Frankie and Bennies just down the road from the book store where Hermione worked. It was a tradition between them to eat there every second Monday to brighten up the dullness it held. Ginny talking about Quidditch players was nothing old.

"Do you think I'll ever marry a Quidditch player?"

It was Luna who answered.

"Anything can happen Gin. Only watch out the Narglets don't get them." That's why you just had to love Luna. Always positive in her own whimsical kind of way.

"Ok right lets play 'bitch mode'!"

"Do we have to Gin, we always play it and I actually feel sorry for the people that gain our horrible comments."

Bitch Mode was a game Ginny made up, surprise surprise, and basically involved the party playing tearing unfortunate people into shreds really.

"Yes now I'll start. Hmmm lemme see." Ginny stroking her imaginary beard wasn't new either. Hermione wondered what she would do if it got mysteriously shaved off, of course that would be silly as you can't shave off imaginary things. Well Luna said you could but yes that was different.

"Fat geeza in the corner with orange shirt and shaved head."

The guy that was spotted obviously hadn't read a fashion magazine and was lucky to be out of the sight range of Gok Wan.

"Hefty fatty."

"Needs a running machine."

"Loner."

"40 year old virgin."

"Probs doesn't shave. Bet it's a jungle run down there. Major rumble in the jungle."

"GINNY!"

"WHAT! I bet its true!"

The guy they were currently bitching about seemed to have supersonic hearing and turned to face them, giving them the biggest set of daggers ever.

"I think he heard you." Hermione inwardly facepalmed herself. Could only be Luna.

* * *

><p>It was 2weeks until Hermione finally found out what her boss, 'Mr spittle' had so sneakily tricked her into doing.<p>

He'd called her into his office on Monday, again the day that screamed 'ain't I shitty' and informed her, well rather spat at her, that she would be travelling up to Scotland - the 'S' lisp-a-fyd greatly - to attend the opening of his new bookstore and the start of his 'never ending chain'. It was heavily noted that Mr. Renolds was turning psycho, if the evil fingers drumming together and the evil glint in the eyes was any indication of that newly discovered fact.

The full month just couldn't seem to get any worse.

On top of being hit on from 'mister muscle' and declining him then receiving eggs on the bookstore windows for doing so, being banned from Frankie and Benny's for 'offending a customer dearly', coming home to Luna destroying their apartment because she thought she would paint it to attract Snorkack's, receiving a fine because of Ginny who didn't understand that yellow lines meant DO NOT PARK HERE and thought they looked blinking 'attractive' and meant 'park on me', her cousins shaving Crookshanks and now being told she had to travel to god awful Scotland.

It wasn't that she disliked Scotland, Hermione would have preferred to attend wizarding school there at Hogwarts instead of attending Salem Witches Institute - her mother wanted her to attend an all girls school - it was just, it looked, well, it looked dull so to speak.

The stories Ginny, Luna and the rest of the Weasleys told made it out to be nothing special and considering the 'great wizarding war' took place there, just made it sound more awful. It also had held the fact that she would have to travel a good distance and for a good period of time just to get there. Hermione hated travelling.

So yes, for Hermione her month just couldn't possibly get any worse, what so ever. Well that was until Match(dot)com had other plans.

The loud ping that the site used to inform website precipitants that they had an 'interester', sounded throughout the house during movie night on Friday.

Hermione cursed herself. How stupid she was to think her month couldn't get any worse.

It wasn't that she wasn't pleased it was just the fact that someone wanted to get to know her and the profile on stupid Match(dot)com did make it clear to people outside that she was interested, when she really really really wasn't.

Hermione through her head back on the couch while Ginny went to investigate and shouted, screamed really inside herself. The words 'I HATE MY LIFE' echoed off organs and bounced around the rest of her body, all the while nothing was heard on the outside. It might have woken Luna - who they finally got to sleep after telling her that Crookshanks wasn't a Snorkack in disguise and tearing the basket from her grasp - if she did scream out loud they way she really wanted to.

_How anyone's day can beet that, I'll give them three wishes and a bloody Grammy. _

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><p><strong>AN:** Righty ho. I thought well since you guys enjoy my fic I'd post a lil fun bundle of slang words and there meanings at the end, just for fun :D and possibly a lil fact just cos I love pointless facts (:

Slang Words for today:

**Dingeed** - Pronounced ( Ding-eed) means when your talking to someone and you ask them a question like "how are you?" and they just blanked you that's when most people in bonnie (bonnie means beautiful) Scotland say "dingeed"

**Jucked - **Pronounced ( J-ooked) means when your with someone and they leave you to go with someone else while your left hanging( hanging means left behind) you would then say "aye thanks for jucking me mate"

And a full lil game to play:  
><strong>The Grand National - <strong>Gaardens! (slang for gardens, pronounced G-air-dens) This is where you jump peoples garden fances like the horses jump the hedges in the Grand National

Random pointless facts :-  
>In <em>The Empire Strikes Back<em> Star wars, there is a potato hidden in the asteroid field - just cos the facts funny :L

The yo-yo was originally a weapon in the Philippines - "you have been found guilty of the crime of murder by the weapon of a yo-yo" I would pay to see that crime conviction! :L

I apologise in advance as I tend to right slangly in A/N as I'm just used to writing like that.

Thanks For reading (: and hope you enjoyed my little list of slang! :D


	3. It's a Potter's Life

_Wizards Match(dot)com  
><em>_Chapter 3  
><em>_It's a Potter's life _

Again I want to thank you all for the reviews, alerts and favs. Its great to see my plot bunny become a rabbit!

It has come to my attention that I'm not replying back to my wonderful reviewers ): I'm awfully sorry so I shall from now on!

04ferrellr - I know right! Gotta love pointless facts!  
>paws rule - Glade you liked it, and they will meet, all in good time :D<br>Dka Reaver - Thanks for the praise! It saddens me that your fics seem to be abandoned, can you tell me why as its sadness as they were wonderful!  
>Rawr Ashley Rae - Hm now that would spoil it wouldn't it if I told you! All in good timeAnnonamy - am just that good!<br>danny boy - leave you troll! :L  
>BouncyBedfunness - your name brings bad thoughts to my mind! You too! Leave you troll! :L<br>Peter pann, avenger, pitsburghhyy and Arthur Hawking 1 - thanks for the reviews and praise, I'm glad you like it :D

And with that, one with the chappy! P.s I'm sick so my muse might be a little dry and so this chappy might suck donkeys ass ):

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><p>It wasn't unusual for Harry to wake up at, say 3am on Saturday mornings from the sound of Draco kicking the door shut while he locked lips with his new one night stander. Nor was it unusual for him to hear the new different yet not so different sounds of 'Hanky Panky' emitting from 'Sexy Man's' - Draco was a child and still insisted on having a name plate of some sort upon his door indicating what room was his - room. Sounds that Narcissa Malfoy would not approve of one slightest bit.<p>

It was times like these that Harry truly loved his life - sarcasm dripping insanely off each word - and never wished for anything more than to keep it this way. How he loved having his wall thumped by Draco's 'amazingly comfy shagging great bed' as Draco once called it.

As the noises died down at around 5am for another joyful Saturday morning, Harry's alarm signified it was time for his morning jog. It wasn't an understatement when one said that Harry truly loved a great run at 5am each Saturday. As insanely as it was - 5am? On a Saturday? Really? - morning runs were always refreshing.

If you had to ask Harry - Draco never failed too - why one would run at 5am each Saturday morning his reply would always be the same; "you can't truly explain why, you have to experience it first hand. You have to feel the way the morning humidity of wet wood bark, tree leafs and moss covered grass surround you as you run through towering trees, and along stone, bridge scattered paths. Under cloudy skies, where morning light creates a shimmering glow off the Loch while you run passed. Until you experience that, you'll know why I run at that time."

Draco's usual reply? "Poetic bastered."

So yes for a bachelors life, Harry's was fairly loud, quiet, busy yet free. His favourite time though? Watching the scenes that always unfold when he gets back, just in time to watch - pop corn in hand, bought from the shop round the corner - as Dr D gets rid of his one night finasko.

"You promise you'll call me pookie?"

Harry inwardly laughed hysterically at the cringe worthy pet name and the way the blonde bimbo pouted up at his ever so great best mate.

"Of course I will snugly boo!"

With that Harry had to shove a hand full of popcorn in his mouth to stop him bawling with laughter. The ever so endearing words were followed by a ever so 'cute' nose tap. It was such a cheesy scene to witness. Harry thought so anyway as he sat watching it, sitting in front row seats as well too.

"You doubly promise, because last time you forgot."

If the scenes that were unfolding were ever part of a movie, at this point in time the sound of the dramatic "dun dun dun!" would be sounding. Running through Harry head at this point though? _ouch! Someone's brought home a pervious shagger! _

"I doubly promise. I know and I'm sorry snugly boo it was just that I lost your number or I would have called."

If the scenes that were happening were compared to a football game, the commentator would have enthusiastically shouted "And what a great save by Draco Malfoy. The man is truly a player!" Harry also vividly remembered Draco tearing said number into teeny tiny pieces and throwing it in the bin. Draco was such a liar.

"And dinner tomorrow for defos?" Anyone had to handed it to this girl, her name 'Lav' - Harry unwantedly heard it last night - she was trying ever so hard.

"Of course for defos.! I'll see you tomorrow." With the those last few words, a quick kiss and a dramatic parting goodbye Draco closed the door and slipped back into his cocky ars, player nature. How Harry had missed him during that sweet romantic farewell episode.

"Your not going to call are you?" As Harry said his words he disappointingly looked into his popcorn bowl, as the bowl stated to him clearly that it was empty. He loved popcorn too.

"Don't be bloody ridicules! Of course I'm not! That was Lavender brown, 'member her. No way would I settle down with that woman. Or any woman for that matter."

Before Draco carried on with his words he gave a disgusted kind of shiver before he grabbed a bowl from the trio's lunch/kitchen, filling it with Nev's cocopops, that were clearly labelled "Hands Off!." Positioning himself with Nev's bowl in hand filled with brown rocks on top of the counter before he continued

Harry registered that Neville was not going to be pleased.

"And anyway she was with Ronikins. The little mummy's boy that he is. So no way in hell would I do anything more than a tap with that."

The specky eyed wonder always wondered what happened to Ronald Weasley and the rest of the Weasleys themselves. Harry wouldn't admit it to Draco - Malfoy didn't like weasel that much - but Ron was one of his best mates at one point. Even if Harry was in slytherin along with Neville, him and Ron had once been good friends, that was of course before everything happened.

"One of these days your going to land yourself with someone that's worse than you. When that day comes and you get your man whore heart crushed I'll be standing with the home made card from Nev's card shop saying I told you so."

With that Harry left heading towards the bathroom to take his morning shower, starting his morning routine for work.

As he stepped through the door he threw a quick fact over his shoulder towards Draco that made the blonde Ken throw himself into a fit off panic.

The Fact?

"Nev's home in 5secs and your eating his cereal, using his bowl as well too. Your in deep shit bruv."

As if on cue Neville Longbottom himself walked through the door, returning from his cousins in Cleveland.

The water had only just come on before the shouting match began.

Muffled sounds of "You ars that's my bowl!"

"Don't hit me!"

"You ate my Cocopops!"

Were only just heard over the water and Harry's cracking singing voice as he tried to reach the high notes.

Number 3 was a great place to live if you asked Mrs Frits next door.

She was being Sarcastic of course! One of her ever so great appealing traits.

* * *

><p>"Good Morning Mr Potter. I've took the privilege of checking your morning and evening schedule and it seems you have a gap between 2pm till 4pm so I again took the privilege and filled it with the impromptu meeting that Mr Shacklebolt has arranged this afternoon that you have been asked to attend. Your coffee is on your desk and I'll just be outside your office if you need anything. Have a productive day Mr Potter."<p>

Ah the sweet sound of work conversation. How Harry loved work.

His assistant Tamara was one of his best yet, to everyones shock that was. He tended to have a new assistant every month, he was fairly picky. They never did have the right touch that he needed. Head of departments always needed the best.

She was also fairly easy on the eyes. Though, not Harry's type. He never did like those bookworm, organised, bossy, serious, possessive types of woman. Cho Chang wasn't his type either. The sluty, bragging, self-cantered types, again not for him.

He liked the quirky, odd, funny, care free, romantic, not to close or distant kind of woman. Yes that was his complete perfect match. He just had to find her first. Not many loved the quibbler like he did.

"Why thank you Ms Drue. Hows your mother been?"

The cheerful expression that was previously on the Head Auras assistants face dropped slightly, her eyes dimmed ever so and a crushed frown appeared on her now pale face.

"She's hanging on. Their doing everything they can at St Mungo's, though it has come apparent that theirs nothing they can do. The disease has spread to her lungs its only a matter of time before it reaches her heart."

Harry pulled his brown haired assistant - another thing, he liked red heads - in for a hug as her shield holding everything in cracked. He never did like seeing anyone upset.

"Tamara, I'm no expert in the understanding of medicine but I'm sure they'll find a cure, and I know my mother is doing everything in her power to find one. Just hang on, she'll pull through, I know it."

It wasn't a lie, Harry's mother was doing everything she could to find a cure for the greatly spreading wizard disease, 'Calapo' the disease that polluted the blood and slowly infected each organ until it reach the heart where it effectively pretty much shut it down. "Nasty piece of work" his mother had said on many occasions. It was exactly that. His father had died from it three years ago when the disease had just come about in Mexico, the place the disease originated from. No one thought it would spread. How wrong they were.

The little lie part? Three years spent finding a cure. Nothing had been found. Emily Drue was in the horrible yet so true no hope zone. His father had been in that zone too. It was an awful sad thought to think about. The truth never was something nice to hear.

"Thank you Mr Potter. And please next time you see Mrs Potter, tell her how thankful I am. She truly is a great asset to St Mungo's."

"Will do Tamara. Now I do believe you need a break, ah ah ah I will not have any of it. You need a break now go before I reduce your pay salary."

Harry received a small smile from his blue eyed assistant - another thing, he liked the brown eyed galls - before he was left alone to attend to his head of department duties. He had such a stressful 9am to 11pm day ahead of him.

* * *

><p>"Harry eat your food properly. I brought you up with manners, not with those qualities that your showing right now."<p>

Mothers. How every 21 year old loves them and their persistency to never let you go. You just have to enjoy life don't you.

"Yes mother."

Harry only mumbled his response which earned himself a reminder not to talk with his mouth full before he dug back into his mothers Sunday dinners. How anyone can not like Sunday dinners would astonish Harry. In his mind, they were like crack to a druggy.

"So hows things been at work? Been busy I'm assuming due to the new case of mysterious attempt break ins to Azkaban and Gringotts."

"Yh it' bn -"

"Harry." His name was laced with a snappy tone. "What have I said about talking with your mouth full. Not only is it highly rude but what example does it set for Rose? An awful one so it does."

A loud gulp was heard and Harry's only sibling looked up at him with a small smile and a giggle. How Harry loved her. He would never let anyone bring her down or say anything mean about her. She never deserved it. He found that he loved her more due to her 'different' quality's. She was another reason why he didn't like to have a girlfriend. Cho was the last to leave a bang out comment. The comment was what ended their relationship. He didn't want something like that happening again. He would always pick his sister.

"Sorry mother. And yes work has been hectic, though nothing to drastic that I can't pop round for a visit ever so often. Your Sunday dinners are always the highlight of my week."

Once the Sunday dinner had come to a close, his mother, Lily, proceeded to clear up while Harry and his little red haired sister walked towards her development area. Harry would never admit but it was a hell of an area. It was full of soft walls and floors, a small plastic table covered in paints, learning equipment, a paddling pool filled with plastic balls and the best toddler slide ever if you had to ask Harry.

How he loved this area.

As they both entered the room, Harry was grabbed by the hand and led towards the small red plastic table where he was forcibly told to sit. A painted picture of a princess was handed to him before his little sister explained it all.

"Mummy and Auntie Nawissa wewe talking about what Dwaco said about a match webswite and me and Hypewion heawd and he said we should pwaint pwetty pictuws of you and a pwincess. So I give you my pwetty pictuwe."

Her cute words were ended with a small smile that Harry always found melted his heart. He would never, ever change his little sister for the world.

The picture was decorated in pink glitter and the princess was clothed in pink and had long curly flowing brown hair. Harry smiled warmly. He had the best sister he could ever ask for.

"Your such a fantastic drawer Rose, though you know I don't like my princess to have brown hair you know I like red haired princess like you and mummy."

"Yes but Hawwy Bell has pwetty haiw and I fink that you would look pwetty with a nice bwown haiwed pwrincess!"

Her excitement made her even more cute and she placed a small kiss on Harry's cheek before she left to receive a cookie that their mother had backed previously. He was left to ponder about what his younger sister said.

_Brunettes? Hmm. _He looked at the painting once more before setting it down again and leaving to have his dissert.

_The are very pretty after all._

* * *

><p>Once Harry entered his shared apartment and was loudly shouted on he know something was utterly wrong.<p>

"Mate!" Draco's loud piercing voice was heard from his room, which Harry took off towards wondering what the hell was going on.

"You have to come see this!"

As he got closer, Draco spun the laptop on his lap around so Harry could see.

With narrowed eyes, Harry read silently into himself, cursing furiously at what he read.

"Two new interesters on 'The mic-lovin site'! Told ye that me doing up your profile would earn you a something something."

Draco wiggled his eyebrows before moving his laptop rapidly away just in time as Harry face planted the bed.

"Fuck my life" was only barely heard due to the face in the bed scenario.

"Aw c'mon mate its not like its some ugly chick and a gay dude - oh wait take that back. GayDude6pointO, how snazzy!"

* * *

><p>Yes I know its went Au here but yes I do like Au's a lot so I thought I make this into one (:<p>

Ok next chappy we get deeper into the plot, I love it!

Also i know i have not included much of Match(dot)com yet but all in good time. Have to set the backing story up you see :D

Well thanks for reading, please leave a review. All are welcome! :D

And with that I'll leave you with the slang words for today and the joys of pointless facts.

Slang Words:  
><strong>Scaled<strong>- pronounced as its said, means to spill something. Like if you spilled your drink you would say, "dammit I've scaled my drink."

**Havering **- pronounced as its said, means to talk a whole load of rubbish basically. Like if your talking nonsense someone would then say, "what are you havering?"

Pointless facts:  
>A ducks quack doesn't echo and nobody knows why.<p>

Till next time :D


	4. Life's A Party

_Wizards Match(dot)com  
><em>_Chapter 4  
>Life's a Party!<em>

Waow! You guys are insanely awesome! (my new USA word!) The amount of favs and alerts! Thanks! Also been added to a community! I feel honoured! Thank you tunes to all of you and to my lovely reviewers.

Soo I'm incredibly sorry for the long update. I've been very ill recently and I'm recovering from Pneumonia. Also I was out a few days ago and I've completely burnt. Who would have thought. Scottish weather.

I'll be replying to me amazing reviewers at the end. Due to my long absents I thought I'd write you all a long chap to make up for my long update

And with that, on with the chappy!

* * *

><p>To say the cold, damp air was freezing was a complete understatement.<p>

Hermione inwardly praised herself for not listening to Ginny and her "Oh its going to be hot and sunny up there so you'll have to wear shorts" nonsense. Ginny really should have been born blonde. She acted enough like bloody Barbie so the hair would make no change what so ever.

Hermione cursed silently to herself as the cold air whistled about and proceeded to receive her luggage from an old, slightly over weight muggle that was previously her bus driver for the 14 hour, two day bus drive.

Oh how many people hated bus journeys that took that long.

As the slightly worn bus drove away, Hermione glanced briefly at her surroundings before settling her attention on the tourist/travellers brochure that was her guide and information provider to the strange land that she had been thrown forcibly into.

Yes, Fuck you Mr Renolds.

"So….?" Hermione placed the 'Happy Travellers' brochure back in her coat pocket and wrapped Ginny's 'borrowed' - she had no intention of giving it back. It was cream, simply divine and was made by Burberry. Yes even girls like Hermione liked a small dose of fashion here and there - coat more tightly around herself to keep in the rapidly escaping heat. Hermione looked more closely at the enclosed area surrounded by trees and the listened to the silence it provided, and embraced the awkward atmosphere. She had absolutely no clue where the hell she was.

If you had to ask Hermione she really would tell you that there was nothing special about a large hole filled with dirty water which was hidden by large hills and mountains and over grown trees. Cold places were never a young witch's thing.

Large rain droplets started only briefly and then it poured - typical Scottish weather. The brochure did indicate I would possibly rain- as Hermione hauled her suitcase up stoned covered paths towards the Inn that was going to be home for the next five days.

The Inn was booming with noise as the door opened and the only sane one now in the place was greeted by a loud seemingly karaoke night happening within the appeared pub area.

The young gal - a muggle named Angus who was a noisy bugger, all old people are, had spotted Hermione and named her so. It was a rare thing to see new folk around these parts you see - hung her, well Ginny's coat up on the provided area, as it's never a smart thing to wear a drenched piece of clothing. Could catch a cold you see.

As the coat started to drip ever so and it was becoming awkward again, a woman around a young age - the small height and wrinkle free complexion being any indication - appeared in the clear view that was previously filled by a cowboy - dress up clothes - singing sweet home Alabama.

"Well what have we here? Now we don't like liars in these parts so no fake information." The ginger haired gal - Hermione's new Scottish word - whipped her hands on a rag before settling down again and starring in the direction of the now blocked door are.

Hermione had no clue what she was supposed to say. 1) She had like absolutely no clue where the hell this place was on the map. 2) she had no idea what kinda land she was in. 3) There was people starring at her left, right and centre. 4) She hated being under pressure and the no lies part made her feel slightly guilty as the everyone did seen pleasant and she always did hate lying to folk about who she was. 5) She tended to get all fast talkidy when she was centre of attention and 6) No fake information?

Hermione inwardly thought about what she could say. She was so pissed off at the moment it was tempting to let it all out. Very tempting.

"Well if you really must know I'm a witch who attended wizarding school in the US. I currently live in a shared apartment with a ginger that has a soul, how insane right! Do you have one? Though she is kinda a slut but shh don't say I said so! I also live in my awesome, see I'm sharing my knowledge of American worlds, flat with a crazy psycho blonde who got herself into the smartest house group at her wizards school, again how insane! A smart blonde, I know! Who would have thought, anyway I also live a great life with an ars called Ronald, yes yes I know, weirdest name ever, say that to myself daily, who spends his life trying to be a hardcore mofo - its not nice to say rude worlds hence why I shortened it - when it's never going to happen. Because like come on, have you ever seen a ginger long haired non educated delinquent? No? neither have I. I've also joined a smashing dating website, can you not just hear my excitement, that's a great place to find shags! Oh want to see a magic trick! Avis! I know cool or what right! I can shot birdies out my stick. How radical! You guys want to hear something funny? Well I have no fucking clue where the hell I am as you see I spent the full bus journey up here passed out due to some guy that seems that he doesn't see the fucking point in a shower and so doesn't use one. Also your place? Yeh its shit. Why the hell do you people want to live in some dull ass place that only has like one shop and rains all the dam time like I've been here what? 7 minutes? And its rained non stop. Like come on! How the hell do you sunbathe! What is it like 'we don't give a dam lets join the land of fagy vampires and sparkle! And we'll wave rainbow flags too!' Yeh I bet it bloody well is! Well fuck you all. Oh I'm sorry. Did I go a little over board with the language? Well you can all blame that bitch Ginny, its cool if you don't know her. Just turn up at some fuck me bar and she'll find you sooner rather than later."

Yeah, Hermione really didn't think that would work. She never did like swearing. Made her mouth taste funny.

"Is this the Foyers House Inn?" Yeh there was a big label on the front that did say that, and Hermione did clock it.

"Sure is! What may we do for you?" The most excitable ginger Hermione had ever meet flashed a mega watt smile just to show her excitement. Like it wasn't already obvious with the high pitched joy filled voice. She inwardly noted that she would have to add her to the 'avoid me list.' Nothing important just everyday common procedure.

"I've booked a room for a few nights here and if it isn't to much trouble could I be escorted to it. First timer and all."

"Sure thing hunnie. Just wait and I'll call Brutus for you. He'll escort you. He's a true gentleman. BRUTUS! " The small ginger shouted her words and pulled out a device that Hermione had absolutely no clue what it was. Muggle technically - totally intriguing.

As the name was shouted a bleach blonde, tall and unhealthily pale young adult came skidding around the wooden covered corners, before halting next to the ever so now tiny ginger.

"Bonnie you called?" Brutus through a quick glance at Hermione before landing his gaze on his appeared manager.

"Brutus if you would be ever so kind to escort…?"

"Hermione."

"…Hermione to her room which seems to be room 5. She will be staying for… 4 nights."

"Will do boss."

Brutus - Hermione couldn't help but pass out a little snort of laughter at the name, which Brutus of course heard flashing her a raised eyebrow and sporting the 'you think my names funny don't you?' look - smiled politely at the seemingly new guest before picking up the heavy suitcase. What woman carry he nor any man will ever know, before indicating the room was this way. This way being up the wooden, steep stairs near the bar.

"So what brings you to Foyers then? As I've never seen you here before. Trust me you would know if I had."

The disgusted look that the young supposed gentleman - _my ars _- received at the flirtatious comment, that just practically screamed man whore, was down right nasty.

"My employers opening a new book store in the village and I was told that I would be attending the opening. To make sure everything was fine." Ever single word in they two sentences were completely soaked in the form of 'I'm disgusted with you'. Hermione really couldn't understand why people continued to drop hints on her. She really wasn't interested.

"Aw yeah I heard about that. Pickson's bookstore right? That's near my mates shop that is. Well here's your room and hope you have a pleasant stay in Foyers."

With that Hermione was left standing outside watching a retreating Brutus stop before a mirror and check himself out before doing some kind of 'ain't I sexy' move before disappearing completely.

She never did understand most of the people she met.

The clock on the wall struck 9pm as Hermione finally finished unpacking. She never did liked holidaying out a suitcase. Though this time, holiday was pretty far fetched. Just as the clock did indicate that time, her phone rang - how she loved muggle technology. As you know, muggle born and all - the caller? Ginny.

"HERMIONE!"

Hermione winced at the shout of her name. Of course Ginny would be in a night club on a Tuesday night when she had work in the morning. How Ginevra like.

"Hello to you too Ginny. What do I owe the pleasure of you taking time out your partying to phone me?"

"Well you see I was - LUNA! that's my drink! Buy your own!"

Again with the screaming. What was with girls and partying and the constant need to scream? Not in a dirty way of course. Probably the music it was always so loud - _wait. Luna?_

"GINNY! What the HELL is Luna doing at some fuck me bar with you?" Situations like that practically screamed disaster.

"Its not a fuck me bar 'mione. it's a place to meet new people. Ain't that right Lunakins!"

A distant slurred 'yip' was heard faintly in the background. Luna pished, tipsy or anything like that was never a good thing.

"GINNY! Answer the bloody question! Why is Luna with you?"

A migraine was definitely coming on for the young witch. How she hated those. Muggles reading in those horrific fiction novels that witch's and wizard could heal themselves no matter what the injury was complete bullocks. They did get migraines like everyone else. Yes they could heal broken bones and all that. But migraines? Nope. Paracetamol it was.

"Well Luna kept going on and on about those stupid, what they called? Skornics? Nope that's not it. Snacknics? No that's not it either. What is it again Sn, Snar, arr -"

"Crumple Horned Snorcack." A faint hiccup was heard also.

"Yeah that's it! So yeh she kept going on about how she was sure there was one in the apartment and then started tearing up the place. Your rooms kinda trashed by the way. I would have stopped her sooner but like Daniel called -"

_Daniel? Daniel, Daniel, Daniel? Ah! Big lips, horrible dress sense, big ears, new couch, my eyes, I remember now._

"- and he said he wanted to meet up. Anyway she was in my room so I was like I've had enough and told her I seen one at this place, and bam that's how she's here. Parvati bailed on me you see."

_Typical_ Hermione thought. At this moment and time Luna was practically getting used and abused. Poor Luna. Everyone loves whimsical Luna.

Hermione shook her head at the words Ginny said. She loved Ginny she really did, but in drastic times call for drastic measures and Luna in a fuck me bar, no matter what Ginny claimed it was, it was that, spelled D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R.

"Ginny." Hermione patiently listen while the person in question was rambling on about 'shoos'. How someone could talk so much about complete and utter crap, she could never understand.

"Ginny!" She never did like losing her cool, but the increase in music volume and Ginny now singing was really pushing her over the edge.

"GINERVRA!"

"Oh Hermione I didn't know you were still there. Life's a party! Bye!"

Again Elise Granger really didn't like her daughter cursing, even if it was in the mind and she would have grounded Hermione if she could a) still ground her and b) know the ill thought of skill Legilimency.

_That bitch hung up on me. She actually hung up on me. I cant believe she actually hung up on me. How dare she! She actually fucking hung up on me._

Hermione really couldn't believe Ginny hung up on her as no one hangs up on Hermione Granger.

She really did try ringing back, multiple times it be noted, but like always - Ginny should never be aloud a phone. She never answers the bloody thing - it went to the god awful voice mail; Suicide Hotline…please hold - It wasn't even funny.

Just as Miss Granger was about to leave her seventh message:  
>Message 1) Ginny how dare you hang up on me! You better answer this phone or so help me god!<br>Message 2) Ginny ! For god sake pick up your phone!  
>Message 3) I bet you'd pick up your stupid phone if I was some prick with a penis!<br>Message 4) Gin, please please please pick up. I promise not to shout just please pick up  
>Message 5 ) OH MY FUCKING GOD! Will you just pick up all ready !<br>Message 6) GINEVRA PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE! And want to get that stupid voicemail off! Its not even remotely funny! Seriously!

Though as she was the hotels lighting system seemed to shut off and it was only then that Hermione noticed the sharp sounds of thunder and the faint sounds of a storm-a-brewing.

How she hated Scotland.

* * *

><p>"Well look who's a morning person."<p>

_Great. Brutus._

The young man currently invading his fellow unbeknown witch's mind, was currently strolling up with a tray of empty drink glasses to his current destination: Hermione's table.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at the blonde male that was now in the process of taking a set opposite her. She silently thought how rude he was currently being.

"Shouldn't you be at, oh I don't know, work?"

"Nah its 7am and the place is like dead. So I thought I'd come and join my dashing new friend." Brutus gave his table mate a sly wink before leaning back in his chair and surveying his 'friend'. He had other ideas about what he was going to make her. Friends being far from it.

"For a friendship to start, both have to agree to start one." Yeah she was being a bit mean, but the way this Brutus character was eyeing her - she knew that look.

"Feisty are we, I like that. Anyway I was wondering if you'd like to join me to dinner tonight as I don't have work tomorrow and afterwards you could come back to mines for, say, coffee?" His comment was followed by an eyebrow wiggle - that usually did the trick - before his expressions were cut short as his hopeful new play mate stood up and through her napkin down on a finished plate.

"I like to be friends with people before I shag them and frankly I don't even like coffee."Brutus watched as the brown haired woman he so wanted retreated out the Inn door. He give a small smirk before returning back to his job duties.

Oh how he liked this Hermione.

* * *

><p>How Neville loved Wednesday. Counter to everyones belief - the belief that Wednesday were supposedly shit - he loved mid week.<p>

He also loved - more than cheese, he was a big fan a cheese - Mondays. How anyone could think Mondays were awful he could never understand.

The reason he loved Wednesdays and Mondays so much was that business was at its best. He always wondered why it was like that but he never truly did want to know an answer - he loved mysteries - but he knew to some extent. On drag days people usually wanted to do something productive other than work really and shopping was definitely on the 'undrag this day' list.

As he currently bid his seventh customer of the day so far - was only 10am and he opened at 9am - he couldn't help but smile a little at his ever so great success. The opening of the bookstore wasn't so bad after all. He had his doubts. He'd got it into his mind that the blasted Pickson's bookstore would take his customers but so far it seemed to increase them - he wasn't complaining.

"Ah The notebook such a classic movie. One of my favourites I must admit."

"I feel ashamed to say that I have never watched it before. A friend always - Neville?"

At the sound of his name, Neville looked up from his current task of filling the movie case with the correct disk when his eyes grew wide.

"Hermione! What a complete surprise! I thought you lived in England."

Lucky for Neville his shop, 'Another Mans Treasure' had died down slightly so two staff on tills wasn't overly necessary.

As both took their respectable seats in the staff room - Hermione noted it was one of the best staff rooms she'd seen. She'd only seen 4 though - and teas were dished out, Neville really couldn't wait to start. It was such a surprise.

"I do live in England, Norwich actually even though it says on the Matchdotcom website that I'm from London. Norwich it is for me."

"Ah I get it. So what brings you up to Foyers then?" The younger of the two took a sip of his tea before settling the mug down again and fixing his glasses. Hermione thanked the heavens that she was having a some what intelligent conversation. Something dear Brutus lacked - greatly.

"I'm actually here for the opening of the bookstore next door. My employer owns it and wanted me to travel all the way up here to make sure everything went smoothly."

"Aw so you're the mysteries English gal that was running the store for a few days along side Megs. Nothing stays quite around a small place like this. So how you been then Hermione?"

The conversation carried on for what seemed like days before it struck half 3 - end of tea break- where the conversation seemed to come near to a close.

"Well it was great to finally meet you Hermione. Your so much more intelligent in person than over a computer. That chat box doesn't do you any justice and may I add that your so much lovelier than that profile makes out."

Hermione laughed slightly and blushed ever so. This Neville fello was worth getting to know after all.

"Thank you Neville. You were such the charmer on that chat and may I say that your more than a gentleman than that profile portrays you as aswell. We'll defos have to go out for lunch sometime while I'm here. It was great seeing you."

"Why thank you. And yes we will most definitely have too. Till next time."

With a small hug and a wave, the girl he had been interested in ever since he saw her on that wizards website, went clear out of sight.

Wednesdays were definitely not shit atoll.

* * *

><p>"And that my friend is how you own at Dead or Alive 3!"<p>

Draco really never took getting beet very well. He was such a sore loser, like right now.

"That's well not fair! You well cheated!"

"How can I cheat? Hmmmm?" Harry really couldn't wait for the new excuse this time.

The list of:  
>'Your side of the split screen receives signals better than mine.'<br>'Your controller has a better connection than mine does.'  
>'You can see the screen better than I can.' Harry loved that one as you know, glasses? Yeah his eyesight was so much better than mister twentytwenty over there.

The list just couldn't get any bigger and they had only had the game for a day.

"Well I don't know. You clearly cheated as you picked your character while I was at the toilet so you obviously got to pick Genra and I was left with crappy Kasumi!"

Just as both young men were getting into the full swing of game night shouting fest, Neville finally made an appearance. It was already 10pm.

As Neville tried to sneak passed both men, he so utterly failed by stubbing his toe. It really was one of the most painful experiences ever.

"And where have you been?" Both fellow wizards said their line in unison before Harry turned in his seat to stare at his roommate. Draco took the opportunity to start a new game. He was so going to win this time.

"I've, em, I've been out." Neville fumbled with his response due to the pain in his right big toe and also due to nerves. He was never good under pressure.

Draco picked up on that too and knew why it was there. Was total embarrassment time.

"Oh has nevillis got himself a girlfriend!"

That really did make Neville go deeply red.

"What! Pfft, course not. Me have a girlfriend? Nonsense. It was just dinner that's all."

Harry and Draco shared a knowing glance. It totally wasn't just 'dinner'.

"Right ok Nev whatever you say."Harry turned back to his game and motioned for Draco to do the same, giving Neville the false impression that they'd finished their little teasing - far from it.

As Neville made his way to his respectable room, Draco really couldn't resist. It was Draco after all.

"She Bang Tidy Nev?"

It truly did the trick.

Both men laughed at the quickened pace of one Neville Longbottom, before returning back to the on slaughter. That's when Harry noticed.

"Oi! You well cheated!"

* * *

><p>I've also included pictures for places in this fic on my profile page if you want a visual idea of things.<p>

**A/N: **I'm going away on holiday in just under 3weeks and I hope to have an update before I go, though I cant promise anything. Its summer after all XD

**Dka Reaver - **how unfortunate. Well I hope everything gets back to normal soon and you continue writing again. I know! Just love her shes such a sweet little thing! Thanks for the praise and glad you liked it.  
><strong>Arthur Hawkwing 1 <strong>- I know you just cant beet them! Its great to see someone enjoying them as much as I do. Thanks for the review.  
><strong>pawsrule <strong>- I'm incredibly sorry for the long update, its understandable if you want to shoot me. Though not in the face, I like me face. Well thank you for finding it very funny, had my doubts that it would just fail but because of you I have pride in myself for making you laugh. Yes that is part of her difference - more to come. Thank you for the praise and I'm glad you like it!  
><strong>BouncyBedFunness <strong>- Yes I know I am ;) well you cant have her! She my fragment of imagination! Well how you havent worked out who this dashing Draco is based on then shame on you! Its like obv! Thanks for the review my fellow padawan!  
><strong>Who Are You What Do You Want <strong>- well hello new reviewer! Thank you for the reviews and glad your liking it!  
><strong>Avenger<strong> - Sorry for the long update ): yes it is though there is more to her than it seems. Thanks for the review and glad your liking it XD  
><strong>Danny Boy <strong>- yes you very much do. And well spoilers! And yes I did anymore of it and I will give you calapo! And sorry for the long update ):  
><strong>annonamy<strong> - I beg to differ. So do I. I want a little sis like her ! Haha nah your safe your not that bad ! Lol  
><strong>peter pann <strong>- well thank you! Glad ive made you enjoy the land of H/Hr

**Pointless fact:  
><strong>-Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance  
>-The male praying mantis can't have sex with its head attached so the female initiates by ripping the male's head off. - Mate Fuck that!<p>

**Slang Words:  
>- <strong>Ahint - pronounced (a-hint) means behind. Like "He's ahint the tree"  
>- Breeks - means trousers. Like "pull up your breeks son"<p>

Thanks for reading (:


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